“You’ve always been beautiful. Now you’re just deciding to be healthier, fitter, faster, and stronger. Remember that.” I recently saw this quote posted on the Revolution Physical Therapy and Weight Loss Facebook page, and I believe it’s a really important one to discuss. Nothing makes me more sad then when I hear my friends make negative comments about their body weight and appearance. It honestly breaks my heart, because when I look at them I don’t see those flaws but I see beauty. I often think, if only they could see what I see. I also feel troubled when I am working with a client and sense that they don’t see themselves as valuable or worthy until they make it to a certain goal they have set. This is a lie, and part of my job as a counselor is to walk alongside them and work with them to dismantle this, and replace it with the truth that their worth has always been there and isn’t something they need to earn.
Yet there is another side to this we can’t ignore. Truth is: goals are important, and it’s good for us to have our health as a priority because it just means we see the value in loving and taking care of ourselves. Truth is: life can be hard and there are seasons of life we struggle to make our health a priority, or rely on food as a way to cope with all the things going on that we can’t control. There is no value in beating yourself up over that, we are all human, we all struggle. Instead you need to work on giving yourself grace when you have struggled, know our worth just as you are, and then work towards the goals that push you toward taking care of yourself better.
I know this all sounds easier than done, and when you have been dealing with self-defeating thinking most of your life it’s going to take a lot of time to undue it all. A tip I have encouraged clients in the past to use is when they are ruminating on a self-defeating thoughts is to stop themselves and ask “what would my best friend say?” A best friend is someone who sees you just as you are, and thinks your amazing. A best friend won’t lie to you if they have concerns, but will also give you the grace, support, and encouragement you need because they believe you are so valuable. A best fiends voice is one you can trust more than anyone. So the next time you are tempted to believe your worth is held in your jean size, ask yourself if your best friend also believes this about you, and if your answer is no then it’s safe to assume it’s a lie you are telling yourself that needs to be stopped. You are beautiful, unique, and worthy just as you are, and will overcome whatever goal comes when you start to see this as truth.
You are Beautiful By: Laura Goossens, LCSW